the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
