Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
he thought i was a dude.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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