Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
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