part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
