you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
