I love black thongs
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
