They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
