Just fell off a train. Bad.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
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