Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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