I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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