These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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