is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
