There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
