i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
