I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize