I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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