So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
