Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
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