question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
