OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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