Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Randomize
