question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
