she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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