The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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