I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Randomize