i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
