I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
