i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
