Your mouth is God's brothel.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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