So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
