So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
