Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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