I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
