I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
