Sponge bath it is.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
