My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Randomize
