I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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