I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
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