Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I am midnight drunk by noon
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Randomize
