you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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