I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
