Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
