Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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