just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
