ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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