Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
