i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
