I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
