White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Even my vagina gasped.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
50% drunk capacity currently
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I believe in your delicious
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize