It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
