Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
