i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
