can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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