You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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