True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
You were trust falling into bushes
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
