I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
