I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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