Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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