Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson