i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
