and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
