Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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