In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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