I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
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The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
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You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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